I was sitting on the beach the other day, just watching the waves and clearing my head. A little ways down the sand, I spotted a kid. He couldn’t have been more than five or six years old.
This kid was having the absolute time of his life. And he didn’t have a fancy iPad, a remote-controlled boat, or a $200 Lego set.
He had a stick.
Just a plain, crooked, salty piece of driftwood he probably found near the dunes. He was whacking seashells. He was poking holes in the wet sand. He was using it like a sword, then a gun, then a walking staff. He had a smile from ear to ear. He was in total “flow.” He was happy as can be with him and his stick.
But then, Mom showed up.
She couldn’t just leave it be. She saw her son playing with a dirty stick and thought, “I can make this better. He needs more.”
She walked over, knelt down, and had a quick chat. A few minutes later, I watched them walk over to one of those beach rental huts: the kind that rents out buckets, shovels, and plastic dump trucks.
They came back loaded for bear. They had the neon green bucket, the high-tech sand sifter, and the plastic truck with the tilting bed. Mom discarded the stick. It was tossed aside like yesterday’s trash.
She started digging a hole. She was trying to show him how “real” beach fun works. She ran down to the ocean, filled the buckets with water, and ran back to pour them into the hole. She was working hard. She was sweating. She was on a mission to make this kid “happier.”
But here is what happened: the kid wasn’t interested.
Ten minutes later, the expensive toys were scattered in the sand. The hole was half-empty. The kid was looking around, bored and discontent. The magic was gone. Five minutes after that, they packed it all up and left.
Mom took a happy kid and made him unhappy in her quest to make him “happier.”
If you’re a mortgage broker, you’re doing this right now. You’re doing it to your Realtors, your processors, and your vendors. And you need to stop.
Don’t Upset the Apple Cart
In the mortgage world, we are obsessed with “optimization.” We read the blogs, we listen to the podcasts, and we think every single process needs to be disrupted and “leveled up.”
We see a partner who is happy with the way things are moving, and we decide to “help” them by overcomplicating their life.
Think about that one Realtor partner you have. You’ve got a good rhythm. They send you a lead, you call the lead, you update the Realtor via text, and the deal closes. It’s simple. It’s the “stick.”
But then you decide you need systems for mortgage brokers to gain leverage. You buy a $500-a-month CRM. You tell the Realtor they now have to log into a portal, upload documents to a specific folder, and check a dashboard for updates.
You just took away their stick and gave them a plastic bucket they didn’t want.
Suddenly, that Realtor stops calling. Why? Because you disrupted their joy. You broke their flow. You tried to make a happy partner “happier” by adding friction, and all you did was make them discontent.
Watch the Breakdown
If you want to hear me talk through this story and how it applies to your daily operations, check out the video below.
The “Two Sticks” Theory
I’m not saying you should never improve. I’m not saying you should let your business rot in the 1990s. But there is a massive difference between disrupting and augmenting.
If you have a kid who is happy with a stick, don’t take the stick away.
Give them a second stick.
In business, this is called “Blue-Collar Psychology.” It’s about understanding what actually makes people move. People move toward simplicity and results. They move away from complexity and “work about work.”
If you have an LOA (Loan Officer Assistant) who is crushing it using a simple checklist on a legal pad, don’t walk in on Monday morning and demand they move everything to a complex project management software because you saw a TikTok about it.
If they are happy and the results are there, let them be happy.
If you want to help them, ask: “How can I make this stick better?”
Maybe you buy them a nicer legal pad. Maybe you hire a virtual assistant to handle the data entry part of that checklist so they can focus on the “poking the sand” part they actually enjoy.
Augment the joy. Don’t replace it with a system they have to learn from scratch.
Building a Mortgage Team for Long-Term Growth
When you start building a mortgage team for long-term growth, you have to be the guardian of your team’s “flow.”
Most brokers fail at scaling because they manage by meddling. They think “leadership” means constantly changing things. It doesn’t. Real leadership is about removing obstacles so your people can stay in their happy place.
I see this all the time with vendors. You have a title company or an appraiser who does great work. You’ve worked together for years. Then, you decide you want to save $50 a file or use a “digital-first” platform that promises 2% more efficiency.
You switch. You upset the apple cart.
Suddenly, your files are getting hung up. Your communication breaks down. Your team is frustrated. You traded a “stick” that worked for a “bucket” that leaks.
Hope isn’t a strategy, and “new” isn’t always “better.”
How to Tell if You’re “The Mom on the Beach”
Are you currently making your partners unhappy in a quest to make them happier? Here are the warning signs:
- Increased Friction: Are you asking people to do more steps to get the same result?
- Low Adoption: Did you buy a new “leverage system” that nobody on your team actually uses?
- Quiet Partners: Have your top Realtors stopped checking in as much since you “upgraded” your process?
- The “Why” Test: If you can’t explain why a change helps them (not just you), you’re probably just playing with buckets.
If you want to scale, you need to get your poop in a group. You need to identify what is already working and pour gasoline on it. You don’t need to reinvent the wheel every Tuesday.
Let Them Be Happy
The moral of the story is simple: if you have a kid that’s happy, just let them be happy.
If you have a partner that you’re doing business with and they’re happy with the flow and the way things work, don’t go in and try to redo everything just because you think it might become better.
Don’t take a happy person and make them unhappy in your quest to make them happier.
This applies to:
- Vendors: If they deliver on time and handle your quirks, leave them alone.
- Partners: If the referrals are flowing, don’t force them into your “new tech stack.”
- Employees: If they are hitting their numbers and love their job, don’t micro-manage their methods.
Give them two sticks. Give them better sticks. But let them keep doing what they love.
Let’s Fix It Fast
Are you struggling to find the balance between “systematizing” and “meddling”? Are you worried that your quest for leverage is actually driving away your best people?
Stop guessing. Let’s look at your current “sticks” and figure out how to augment them without breaking your business.
At The Mortgage Broker Builder, we help brokers build actual systems that create freedom, not just more chores. We focus on “Blue-collar psychology” to make sure your team and your partners stay happy while you grow.
[Try this for 30 days: Stop changing things. Just watch where the joy is in your office and find a way to support it. If you’re ready to build for real, let’s talk.]
Go to themortbrokerbuilder.com and let’s get your systems dialed in the right way.
Don’t be the mom with the bucket. Be the broker who knows when the stick is exactly what the kid needs.
Outcome / Purpose / Action:
- Outcome: A high-performing team that stays in flow.
- Purpose: To prevent “over-optimization” from killing your culture and partnerships.
- Action: Audit your current processes. Identify one “improvement” you made recently that added friction, and roll it back or simplify it today.